Frequently, I find myself deliberating what dictates the way we view ourselves. We allow the frivolous aspects of life to determine our self worth and assign numerical values to abstract traits such as intelligence. We strive for conformity to conventional norms rather than the acceptance of our idiosyncrasies. The matter of the fact is we’re not entirely to blame for the way we subject ourselves to these preposterous descriptors — it’s the way communities are engineered.
We’re constantly struggling to exponentially increase our desirability, seeking validation from people we look up to or view as a paradigm for the kind of person we wish to be. Attempting to climb social ladders, establishing empty relationships for the sole purpose of retaining ‘popularity’ and growing fanatical about one’s image is what leads to the creation of self-destructive patterns and detrimental coping mechanisms. Instead of reinforcing an optimistic perspective of introspection, one affirms an internalised hatred by succumbing to believing that they mandatorily have to meet the idealistic expectations that are set for them.
We’ve been locked into a cyclical nightmare which amounts to utter disappointment when we are faced with failure. The one thing that we can do to set plausible goals that align with our own core principles is being honest with ourselves. It is not an uncommon tendency to project a more ostentatious, amplified version of ourselves to the people we interact with—the harm lies at the point where we deceive ourselves into accepting the illusionary persona we have created for the purpose of appealing to larger sections of society. We lose our coherency in distinguishing between reality and idealism to the extent that the former amalgamates with the latter. We’re left hoodwinked by the notion that our capabilities are more hyperbolic than we initially pegged them to be.
A step to take towards self actualisation is to strip away fallacious misconceptions we choose to believe. Presenting ourselves as an authentic interpretation of everything we stand for at all times rather than deviating from our principles helps to curb the dysphoria that lingers over our perceptions. Think of it as a learning process—the only difference is you play the role of both the learner and the teacher. Ask yourself questions that you would normally shy away from. Approach it in a way that helps you decipher the intricacies of your personality. You will unearth knowledge about yourself that lay buried under the weight of all the additional social layers that fabricated it.
I have personally struggled with accepting a bare, more honest version of myself but I’ve found that consistently working in the direction to find my calling and set my opinions brings a surge of confidence as I acquaint myself with my own habits and traits—because the only way to correctly evaluate other people is to come to terms with your analysis of yourself. It’s time all of us begin to embark on this journey of a sort of enlightenment and eventually- acceptance.